Max is king and Mom is a walking disaster

I wasn't sleepy AT ALL this morning, so I sat around and observed the world. Mom kept trying to get me to go to sleep by rocking me in the glider and rubbing my head (I like that), and then I would close my eyes just for a second to tease her. I let her think I was asleep and she would put me in the crib, and as soon as she put me down, I said, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" (translation: HAHAHAHAHAH! Fooled you!). She would then pick me up again and try to get me to go to sleep. Stupid Mom finally learned her lesson and gave up and just held me like I wanted.

Around noon, though, I was getting a little sleepy and decided to take a nap. I woke up when Mom decided to put me in the carseat so she could go to her stupid 6 week postpartum appointment (whatever that may be).

But I did another funny trick on Mom!!!! I peed my pants and got it all over the back of my onesie, and so Mom had to change my diaper and my clothes. She was in a hurry (apparently we were running late now), and didn't like my trick.

I was happy when we got in the car and were driving, but I wasn't sleepy after my half hour nap, so I just chillaxed in the car. When we got to the parking spot, Mom put me in the stroller and practically ran the 10 minutes to get to the doctor's office because she didn't want me to be out in the 103 degree weather for too long (and plus we were running late because of my funny trick).

We finally got to the waiting room and I was pretty happy just sitting around. But then the nurse came and called my mom's name, and I didn't like that, so I told her so. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAWAWAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" I wailed.

Mom looked very embarrassed. Not sure why.

While I was telling the nurse what I thought of her and her momma, Mom strolled me into a little room where Mom had to get half undressed. I was still telling the nurse off, and Mom is standing holding a sheet over her bottom half (silly mom) trying to console me and at the same time not let her sheet fall down.

Then some mean scary doctor came in and did some mean scary stuff and I told the doctor what I thought of her and her momma, too. The doctor didn't like it and called for a nurse to come and hold me. I liked that.

After we were done with the mean scary doctor, I was really, really hungry, so Mom fed me. That made me happy.

Mom then decided to get herself a coffee because she was stressing and she had a couple of sips before she strolled me back to the car. All the way back, her coffee spilled all over the place, stressing Mom even more.

Then we got to the car, and Mom put me in the back seat, and as she got out of the car, Mom banged her head really hard and she said a dirty, dirty word. The she had to put the stroller in the car, and since Mom didn't pay attention to Dad's lesson on how to work the stroller, it took her 10 minutes. And she said lots and lots of dirty, dirty words the whole time while I sat in the nice air-conditioned car taking a nap and she was out in the 103 degree weather trying to work the stroller.

The end.