Dad took me to the doctor yesterday. He said something about how I was being pretty fussy and wanted to make sure I wasn't sick. See, I have been playing this funny joke on my parents for a while now. A couple weeks ago I decided that it would be fun to pretend like I was teething. So, I started doing things like spitting out my bottle and crying and grabbing my ears and cheeks. Somehow, Mom thought of teething, and so Dad decided to feel my gums. He thought he felt something like a tooth and when he looked in my mouth, he saw this white thing. Now, I didn't plan on that but I took advantage of it and milked it for all it was worth. My parents thought I was teething and my plan was coming together. Anyway, eventually that white thing disappeared and Dad noticed. He thought he was going crazy. Silly Dad. There was never a tooth there. Hee-hee.
Once they discovered that my "tooth" had disappeared, I had to do more to convince them that I was teething. So I started to be fussy again and shove the bottle away and scream when they tried to feed me. I also started shoving my hands in my mouth and chewing on them. They actually taste pretty good. Anyway, my silly parents kept wondering what my deal was, and so Dad took me to see the doctor to find out if I really was teething or if I had an ear infection or something.
This could ruin my plan. So when we got there, I decided to start crying, hoping Dad would just turn around and go home. Didn't work. He just picked me up, and since I like it when he does that, I stopped crying. We got into the room and some nurse person weighed me. 13 lbs 15 oz. she said. I don't know what that means, but I guess everyone was happy with it. Then she put me on this table where there was a mirror and lots of stickers for me to look at. I liked all those stickers. They were pretty cool. I was quite mesmerized, actually. Then I remembered that these medical people could ruin my funny joke. So, I decided I would try to signal to this nurse lady that I was trying to trick Dad into thinking I was teething, so I shoved my hands in my mouth and started to chomp on them. I don't think she got my hint because she said something about a "rectal temperature" and took out this weird looking stick. I'm not sure what was happening, but I decided to play cool and just stare at the mirror and chew on my hands. I figured I needed to remind everyone I was supposed to be there about my teeth, not my butt. Silly nurse. When that was done, the nurse lady left and the doctor came in. She was just as silly. She kept putting this thing on my chest and feeling my stomach. Then she stuck this thing in my ears. She told Dad that I wasn't sick. I just kept chewing on my hands, hoping she would take the hint. Finally, she decided to look in my mouth and feel around. She obviously didn't get the hint, either, because she told Dad that she didn't think I was really teething. Then she told him exactly what a tooth coming in looks like. Now, why'd she have to do that? Now my parents know that there's really nothing wrong with me and I have been playing this funny joke on them the whole time. They're so gullible.
I have lots of funny jokes in store for them.........
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