By request: Jennifer's mechanical skill

Because my mother wanted it, here be my entry about my mechanical skill:

I cannot work an electric can opener. This is why the only can opener you will ever find in my house is a hand-held one.

I cannot operate a DVD player or VCR player.

I often get confused with the remote control.

I have absolutely no idea how to work the Diaper Genie. Brandon did give me a lesson, but much like his other lessons (like how to operate the DVD player), I didn't pay attention because I knew that he could always do it for me.

In my world, a screw driver and a wrench are the same thing. Is there a difference? Seriously?

I couldn't hook the printer to the computer to save my life.

I barely know how to operate Pippi's harness.

It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to fold the stroller the first time I had to do it. It was after my 6 week postpartum appointment and it was 304 degrees outside and I had Max in the nice air-conditioned car, and I spent 154 minutes cussing up a storm because I didn't listen to Brandon's lesson on how to operate the stroller and that's why it took me 167856397869 minutes to fold.

Max has like 1786896896897585 pairs of cute little overalls but he rarely wears them because I have absolutely NO idea how to put them on him. I kid not.

It took me 4 days to figure out how to put a onesie on Max.

7 days to put a diaper on the kid.

The vacuum? Well, I can't change the vacuum bag when full. But Brandon can and that's all that is important to me.

I can't set a watch or any of the clocks in the house. That's why I am up a creek come daylight savings time. Thank goodness I have my slave, I mean, my husband.

I will feel very bad for Brandon if Max takes after his mother with regard to mechanical ability.