Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dear Aunt Kelly....

Many moons ago, I visited Grandma and Grandpa Ice's abode and came across a poor, homeless, malnourished, and rather unfashionable (read: naked!) baby doll. I quickly discovered that the doll was so malnourished that it ate its own fingers and toes. Rather than ignore the poor baby's neglect and terrible living conditions, I chose to pull a Brangelina and adopt the young child. She has been living under my loving care since then.

I have since named the poor lass "Baby," and I take her with me wherever I go. We have been on many an adventure together, and I cannot imagine my life without her. I share my titties with her, feed her, change her baby panties, provide her with soy milkie, and make sure she is exposed to great works of European literature.

It is my understanding that you are upset with Baby's residing with The Mr. Max. Do I need to remind you that The Mr. Max is just a baby? That you are an old hag? That the baby (Max) needs his Baby?

I will provide you 2 days to think about the error of your ways.

Sincerely,
Mr. Max

p.s.
You already made me cry once by telling me "no no." Do you really want to make me cry again by taking away my Baby?

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