I went shopping today to get Max some Easter presents, and I spent too much. As always when it comes to Max, I go overboard, trying very hard to give him everything he could possibly want or need.
And as cliche as it sounds, all he really needs, and wants for that matter, is love. And I'm really good at giving him that. I don't know if it is because I love him more and more every day or just that he's more and more fun every day (or a combination of both), but I just love spending my time with Max. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and I sincerely feel like he is making me a better person because now I feel like I have a true purpose, a true something-to-live-for. I hope that Max knows how much I love him and how important his happiness is to me.
At the risk of using yet another cliche in this post (I know, how annoying!), I am learning as I "grow up" just how important family is. That is not to say I did not understand the importance of it prior to the birth of Max or my dad's cancer diagnosis, but I suppose I can just feel the importance of it more, not just "know" its importance.
To be honest, knowing and feeling just how much I love Max, Brandon, my parents, sisters, etc., actually makes me scared shitless. The fact that I love more and more every day scares me, especially with the reality of cancer smacking me in the face.
This just should not be happening to our family.
I have felt like one of the luckiest people in the world until recently. I have the most perfect son in the world and my love for him has made me feel more love than ever before in my entire life, and yet now I feel as if luck ain't nuffin, honey.
1 comment:
You are right. You were blessed with a wonderful child. No one can take your family from you, ever.
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