Summer time, Bad Mother, Good Father, and other thoughts

So I've been out of school for almost 2 weeks now, and it has been a blast. Each and every day is different with Max, and I try very hard to do something fun with him every day. Today, for example, we fingerpainted and got paint all over ourselves and the house. We also went to Barnes and Noble and played with the train set they have there (don't tell Max we got him a train set for his birthday). Afterwards we went to the park and played in the mud. Literally. I am really enjoying all of this time I get with him, and I am grateful that one of the perks of being a teacher is this time off (although I am writing curriculum during his naps every day, so it's not like I am 100 percent off from school).

Anyway, today when we were at the bookstore, I made a point to look through a book that just came out last week called Bad Mother. It is written by the same lady who a few years ago wrote a very controversial column for the New York Times in which she stated that she loved her husband more than her children. Obviously there was a lot of backlash over that but she has continued writing since then. Although I don't agree with everything the author writes, I do like reading her work because it makes me think, and this new book is no exception. In her new book, she writes that when a person is asked what constitutes a good father, usually the answer is along the same lines as "a dad who's there" (referring to the absence of the father from the American family), but when one is asked what constitutes a good mother, the answer is the opposite extreme--that is, there is so much that a good mother is expected to do and the good mothers often feel this pressure to do all this and then some in order to be the best mother for their children. And when these mothers feel they aren't doing everything for their children, they get a huge case of mother's guilt.

I asked Brandon today if he ever has father's guilt and he just asked me what that was.

I, on the other hand, have a case of mother's guilt at least once a day, every day, and during the school year, a large part of my guilt lies in the fact that I work outside the home and Max goes to another person to be cared for while I work.

I realize how fortunate I am to have Brandon as my husband and father to my child, especially considering that the average person thinks a good father is simply a present one. Brandon is that and so much more. I would say that he and I have a pretty equal distribution of labor in the house and we both try very hard to spend as much quality time with Max as possible. It is no secret that Brandon and I would both love to add another child to our family, and I can honestly say I wouldn't even consider expanding our family if Brandon weren't the wonderful father that he is.