Friday, August 31, 2007

Let's face it--the kid's got probs

Max is either a sheer genius or a complete idiot. You decide--rock the vote, baby.

As most of you know, Max has always been very alert, much more alert than the average baby. He's always looked like he is just taking in everything he sees and either planning the utter destruction of the world or the betterment of society.

Anyway, this alertness is starting to drive his parents (especially Mom) crazy. Now don't get me wrong--I like the fact that he appears to see things and is trying to understand what he sees. This might be the "sheer genius" aspect of Max.

However, because Max is CONSTANTLY looking around and thinking--and he really does look like he's thinking because he does that thing with his eyebrows like I do--he NEVER, EVER SLEEPS. Never. And since he doesn't sleep during the day because he is too freaking busy trying to figure out what that spot on the wall is, or what God is saying to him (Max likes to stare and smile at the cross on the living room wall), Max gets cranky due to his becoming overtired.

So, by the time I arrive home at 3:30, Max is ready for a nap, but he is so overtired that he can't sleep. Herein lies the possibility that Max might very well just be a complete idiot because he is too busy staring at a spot on a wall to sleep.

It just seems like the time I am home with him, I am either feeding him or trying desperately to get him to sleep because he is fussing to sleep. It's frustrating because he wasn't like this when I was home with him. I know that Brandon is working from home and can't exactly spend forever trying to get him to take that early afternoon nap that Max sooooooooooooo desperately needs in order to not become overtired. I just don't like the time I spend with Max to be as negative since all Max is doing from 3:30 till after 6:30 is fussing because he is so tired and needs to sleep.

So vote. Is he a genius and will his alertness pay off in the end, or is he a complete and total idiot who just needs to quit staring at and talking to the wall and just take a freaking nap?

Monday, August 27, 2007

There's a dog on the run, a Jen on the floor (and let's not forget the crying baby locked inside the house)

I really shouldn't have to elaborate based upon the title of this post, but here goes...

As I was getting ready to walk Shelley and Lucy (Brandon gives Pippi a special Pippi walk), I opened the door AT THE MOST INOPPORTUNE TIME EVER. A dog--shudder!--was walking by the very moment our door opened.

And Shelley, being the alpha female that she is, felt the need to escape and tell the passing dog to not even get near Shelley turf.

This, of course, caused a ruckus. Shelley escaped out of her collar and ran across the street to see the passing dog. This, of course, caused me to fall to the ground. This, of course, caused Lucy and Pippi to attempt to see what the heck Shelley was after and try to make their own escapes.

As Brandon shoved--and I mean that literally--Lucy and Pippi back inside, the two dogs landed on me (Pippi on my face and Lucy on my leg), and Brandon attempted to shut the door to prevent future escape. Unfortunately for me, my head was in the path of the door, and Brandon rammed the door into my head.

Loudly.

Even with a cracked skull, I still managed to get up and go help Brandon retrieve the Shelley-on-the-run.

And here's where I make a stupid mistake--I shut the door. Normally this is not a big deal, but keep in mind that our front door locks automatically, and so when I shut the door, I inadvertently locked us outside--and locked Max inside.

Brandon got Shelley and when he and I got back to the door, I was like, "uh................I think I locked us out." I can hear the poor kid crying inside (he had been asleep but I imagine the ruckus startled him). Luckily our kitchen door was unlocked, so Brandon jumped the fence and went in through the kitchen to let me and escape artist in.

We're goooooooooooooooood parents. Really.

Finis.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Don't you people know Max has never tasted meat?!!!!!

So, who the heck is voting meat eater?! The little twerp has never even tasted meat. His mother--who fed him for 9 months--eats a strictly vegetarian diet.

And plus his mother is gonna show him "Chicken Run" and teach him about how all animals have mommies and daddies and how the chicken he is eating used to be a cute little baby chicken.

At last, oh sweet last, Max decides to give his dear parents a break

Last night MAx woke up to be fed at 10pm. He ate 6 oz, and afterwards, fell asleep for the night. Now normally Max wakes up every 3 hours to eat--he's been doing that ever since he was born, but for the past couple of weeks he has had the occasional 4-5 hour stretch between feedings. Unfortunately, however, these 4-5 hour stretches usually occurred between 5-10 pm or 6-11 pm, so we didn't get much extra sleep from it.

But behold! Last night after his 10 pm feeding, Max DID NOT WAKE UP UNTIL 6 AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I myself woke up at 2 am, looked at the clock, and asked Brandon if Max was still alive. Yup.

Woke up again at 3 am. Is he still alive? Yup.

Woke up again at 5 am. Is he still alive? Yup.

So, for the first time since June 21, Brandon and I got about 7-8 hours of sleep.

Man, it felt good. Really hope the little squirt does this more often.

I'm not counting on it.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Make sure you answer the poll!

Brandon and I are at odds as to whose "diet" Max will inherit.

So, make sure you answer the poll.

Methinks I'm ready

School starts on Monday, and I think I'm ready. At least I hope so...

My rooms are set. And that was hard to do because I have 2 rooms--one at the high school and one at the middle school. All I have to do is a bunch of photocopying and I will do that tomorrow. Taking Max to school with me and hopefully he'll make himself useful and help me out a bit. Can't do much planning--at least for the high schoolers--until I see what sort of students I have inherited from the old teacher.

It's going to be very difficult to juggle being a mother and a teacher. I could never be a stay-at-home mom. I really, really need to have my job in order to feel complete. I was going CRAZY these past couple of weeks because I was desperate for some intellectual-ness. See--that's how crazy I became--I have started making up words. This has been BY FAR the least intellectual summer I have ever had. I'm used to writing papers, going to conferences, etc., but this summer was filled with pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopy diapers, burps, spit-ups, you name it. I loved it, even those nasty, nasty pooooooooooooooooooopies, and am glad I got to experience them, but I am also very ready to teach again.

Monday, August 20, 2007

OMG. I am not that wide. But sadly, Max is.

I just looked at the picture I posted of me and Max, and noticed that for some reason the blog has yet again skewed the picture up again. It does that sometimes. If you don't believe me, scroll down and look at some of the other pictures--blogger messes them up sometimes.

So, anyway, I am not that wide even though the blog makes it look like that. Yeah, I still have about 20 pregnancy pounds to lose, but hey, I just had a baby.

And it's back to school for me......

Today I went back to school; granted, it was just a bunch of meetings and whatnot (school does not really start until next week), but I was still NOT at home. I wasn't nervous or anything because Brandon is working from home this week and next week. Max's first day at the babysitter is September 5; that's probably when I will be nervous, not because I don't trust our babysitter, but because he's away from home.

Although I missed Max, it was nice to have adult conversation and to be back doing (or getting ready to do) what I love--teaching. I really love my job, and I am really looking forward to this year because I have all age groups from age 12-18 (both middle school and high school).

I think both Brandon and I like having jobs as well as a baby. Both of us like having our career, but also like coming home to our family. I know that I really loved coming home and feeding Max (and seeing that his diarrhea has finally disappeared!). I cherish the times that I have with him much more than when I was with him all day long.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Max is short, fat, and has a small flat head: so long, modeling career

Today Max had his 2 month appt with the vet (I mean, doctor).

Here be the vitals:

length: 22 3/4 inches (48 percentile, so about average)
weight: 2 tons (really, 12 pounds, 7 ounces) (75 percentile, so really fat)
head circumference: really small (25 percentile)

Anyway, all is well with the Maximus, except he has a small flat head. Apparently he sleeps on his left side a little too much and has developed a flat spot as a result, so now we have to push the fattie onto his right side more often. It's either that or make him wear a corrective helmet when he's older. I was wanting to do the corrective helmet thing just because that would be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool, but Brandon said no.

Also, Max had to get shots. Poor fat guy. They gave him like 25 million shots, and it hurt me to see him. He was in such agony. But he got cool band-aids afterwards, so we're cool with it.

mirror, mirror on the wall

(forgive me for the no caps--i am holding a 45 pound baby and typing at the same time)

max has acquired a new hobby--staring at himself in the mirror. i know most babies like mirrors, but max really, really loves it. in fact, he finds it rather soothing. he'll be crying and fussing, and i'll pick him up and take him to the mirror, and he will quickly shut up, look at himself, and seem to ask, "oooooooooooooooooooooooooo........who is that ridiculously good-looking baby? ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo". i almost think he is practicing poses.

i guess all those episodes of america's next top model are paying off for him. max and i watch 2 episodes a day.

maybe max will be the second best male model--after the ridiculously good-looking zoolander, of course.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Yous gots to feel bad for the kid...

So I just posted his "mug shot," and it seems like every time I look at a picture of Max, I realize that he is looking more and more like me. Brandon and I were discussing this other day--neither of us really sees much of him in Max (yet--that will probably change as he grows older).

But for now it appears that Max is a mini-Jennifer. Poor guy. He looks like a woman. Hopefully he'll grow up to look like a man. It's doubtful, though--I looked like my dad when I was little, and I grew up, and still look like a man. Runs in the family, kid (that is, to look like the opposite sex).

And actually that mug shot to me looks like a picture of my sister (Kelly) when we were younger (she must have been like 2 or something). I'd like to say it's the one where she's on a recliner or something. Mom? Know what I'm talking about?

----------------------------------------------------
Brandon's thoughts:
Well, I can honestly say that right now, he does look more like Jennifer. I still think the eyes are hers--not necessarily the color, but the shape, spacing etc. Cheeks are probably hers, too. I can see me in his lips, and maybe the nose, but most everything else looks like Jennifer. Of course, as is always the case with babies, that could change over time. But right now, Max is Jennifer's little "mini-me." It's kinda funny because there was one night where I was still half asleep and I looked over at Jennifer sleeping and thought she was Max. I wondered how he got in the bed... Like I said, I was half asleep, but that's how much he looks like her to me right now. But I don't feel bad for him. He's cuter because of it...

Funny jokes at the liberry

Today me and Mom went to the liberry. She said she needed to return a book and get a new one. I didn't have a problem with that, so I said I'd go with her.

Plus, it would be the perfect opportunity to practice my funny tricks.

I had done my research and discovered that you are supposed to be really, really quiet at the liberry. I had the perfect plan......

When Mom was busy perusing the shelf looking for an exciting read, I decided to pretend I was asleep. But just when she least expected it, I unveiled my funny trick.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

She didn't think it was funny and tried to get me to stop crying. She stuck a suckie in my mouth and I spat it back out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! I kept crying, but then she pulled out her other secret weapn--she "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"ed me and I shut up just for her.

I like doing my funny tricks, and I have yet to figure out why Mom gets so embarrassed.

The end.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Max is king and Mom is a walking disaster

I wasn't sleepy AT ALL this morning, so I sat around and observed the world. Mom kept trying to get me to go to sleep by rocking me in the glider and rubbing my head (I like that), and then I would close my eyes just for a second to tease her. I let her think I was asleep and she would put me in the crib, and as soon as she put me down, I said, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" (translation: HAHAHAHAHAH! Fooled you!). She would then pick me up again and try to get me to go to sleep. Stupid Mom finally learned her lesson and gave up and just held me like I wanted.

Around noon, though, I was getting a little sleepy and decided to take a nap. I woke up when Mom decided to put me in the carseat so she could go to her stupid 6 week postpartum appointment (whatever that may be).

But I did another funny trick on Mom!!!! I peed my pants and got it all over the back of my onesie, and so Mom had to change my diaper and my clothes. She was in a hurry (apparently we were running late now), and didn't like my trick.

I was happy when we got in the car and were driving, but I wasn't sleepy after my half hour nap, so I just chillaxed in the car. When we got to the parking spot, Mom put me in the stroller and practically ran the 10 minutes to get to the doctor's office because she didn't want me to be out in the 103 degree weather for too long (and plus we were running late because of my funny trick).

We finally got to the waiting room and I was pretty happy just sitting around. But then the nurse came and called my mom's name, and I didn't like that, so I told her so. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAWAWAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" I wailed.

Mom looked very embarrassed. Not sure why.

While I was telling the nurse what I thought of her and her momma, Mom strolled me into a little room where Mom had to get half undressed. I was still telling the nurse off, and Mom is standing holding a sheet over her bottom half (silly mom) trying to console me and at the same time not let her sheet fall down.

Then some mean scary doctor came in and did some mean scary stuff and I told the doctor what I thought of her and her momma, too. The doctor didn't like it and called for a nurse to come and hold me. I liked that.

After we were done with the mean scary doctor, I was really, really hungry, so Mom fed me. That made me happy.

Mom then decided to get herself a coffee because she was stressing and she had a couple of sips before she strolled me back to the car. All the way back, her coffee spilled all over the place, stressing Mom even more.

Then we got to the car, and Mom put me in the back seat, and as she got out of the car, Mom banged her head really hard and she said a dirty, dirty word. The she had to put the stroller in the car, and since Mom didn't pay attention to Dad's lesson on how to work the stroller, it took her 10 minutes. And she said lots and lots of dirty, dirty words the whole time while I sat in the nice air-conditioned car taking a nap and she was out in the 103 degree weather trying to work the stroller.

The end.

A note on picture updates

As some of you know, we recently got a new computer so that Brandon can more easily work from home a few days od the week. So far, we have yet to figure out how to put the camera software on the computer.

We still have the Mac and are trying to get another internet cord so that can be hooked up to the net and we can update the blog pics from there.

Give us a week.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

A simple equation: Brandon + Jennifer = True Love

Cliche, I know.

And I feel like an idiot high schooler as I write this (especially that title), but I can't imagine any other couple having a more perfect marriage.

Tomorrow, August 5, is our 7th wedding anniversary. Because of HIM (that is, Max), we are choosing not to go out and do anything, but are simply staying at home, watching movies, and will have our own wine and cheese tasting party in the evening. Pretty pathetic, huh? Last year we went to San Diego for our anniversary, and this year we're watching movies. I guess that's what having a kid will do to ya.

I tease about Max (I'm calling him "thunder thighs" now because he is really starting to turn in to a fattie), but having him as part of our life has only made our marriage even better. I can honestly say that I love Brandon even more now that he is a father. A dorky father, but a father nonetheless.

I can't wait until Max is old enough to see just how in love his parents are. I want him to be embarrassed by it. I want him to cringe when Brandon and I hold hands in the grocery store. I want him to grimace when he sees Brandon rub my feet after a long day. I want him to groan when he hears us tell each other "I love you."

Poor Max.

Happy anniversary, Brandon.