Hi. This is Max. My crazy Grandma Jackie ("old bag") told my beautiful mother that she needed to update the blog, so I told my beautiful mother that I would do it for her. My beautiful mother has more important things to do than humor the old bag.
Anyway, since it's like the end of October and all, and the holiday season is right around the corner, I figured I could share with the world my Christmas list.
So here ya go:
1. First and foremost, I need a new tv. Personally, I am getting quite sick of waiting for the tv to "warm up" just when I am ready to watch my America's Next Top Model or Whammy.
2. Other entertainment devices--"toys." I would like an ExerSaucer (or something like that) and other educational toys.
3. Jewelry for my beautiful mother.
4. Someone to babysit me for a night so that my beautiful mother and my ugly tachycardic father can go stay in a hotel and get some sleep. I have the habit of waking up 7 times a night, so beautiful mom and tachycardic dad have not slept for longer than 3 hours in 18 weeks. I guess they deserve it now.
5. White socks.
Please note that I don't need any clothes EXCEPT FOR LIKE 234U897089460Q PAIRS OF WHITE SOCKS. I plan on being naked EXCEPT FOR WHITE SOCKS.
The end.
Love, Max
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
We ain't so short and fat no more
Max had his 4 month appt yesterday. The vitals:
weight: 15.3 pounds (literally the 50th percentile, so average)
length: 25 inches (again, literally the 50th percentile)
Soooooooooooooooooooo.....I don't understand why everyone is always calling him a fattie when he is right where he should be. He's a good looking kid if you ask me.
We also got the green light to give him rice cereal. He really did not know what to expect at first and wouldn't really open his mouth for a bite, but after half a dozen or so spoonfuls, he caught on and was soon trying to eat the spoon and had his mouth open as soon as he saw me bring the spoon toward his mouth. We caught the whole episode on camera; it was really hysterical to experience.
weight: 15.3 pounds (literally the 50th percentile, so average)
length: 25 inches (again, literally the 50th percentile)
Soooooooooooooooooooo.....I don't understand why everyone is always calling him a fattie when he is right where he should be. He's a good looking kid if you ask me.
We also got the green light to give him rice cereal. He really did not know what to expect at first and wouldn't really open his mouth for a bite, but after half a dozen or so spoonfuls, he caught on and was soon trying to eat the spoon and had his mouth open as soon as he saw me bring the spoon toward his mouth. We caught the whole episode on camera; it was really hysterical to experience.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
It's about freaking time
Max has finally rolled over. I was assisting him yesterday, but today he did it on his own. He is almost 4 months old, and apparently he should be able to do it by 4 months, so I guess he is not behind in that regard.
And I wasn't in the room to witness it! I was making a bottle and Brandon saw it. Guess we'll have to take his word for it.
Max is also talking A LOT. I think he is going to be an early talker; I think I was an early talker and so was Brandon, so Max will probably be early as well. It's funny because Max just sits there and babbles and babbles like he thinks he's saying something really important.
Any bets on his first words and when he'll say them?
I bet MAMA, quickly followed by RANCID (cuz I am always calling him that), and then BIG BLACK DOG (that's what he calls Shelley).
And I wasn't in the room to witness it! I was making a bottle and Brandon saw it. Guess we'll have to take his word for it.
Max is also talking A LOT. I think he is going to be an early talker; I think I was an early talker and so was Brandon, so Max will probably be early as well. It's funny because Max just sits there and babbles and babbles like he thinks he's saying something really important.
Any bets on his first words and when he'll say them?
I bet MAMA, quickly followed by RANCID (cuz I am always calling him that), and then BIG BLACK DOG (that's what he calls Shelley).
Saturday, October 6, 2007
By request: Jennifer's mechanical skill
Because my mother wanted it, here be my entry about my mechanical skill:
I cannot work an electric can opener. This is why the only can opener you will ever find in my house is a hand-held one.
I cannot operate a DVD player or VCR player.
I often get confused with the remote control.
I have absolutely no idea how to work the Diaper Genie. Brandon did give me a lesson, but much like his other lessons (like how to operate the DVD player), I didn't pay attention because I knew that he could always do it for me.
In my world, a screw driver and a wrench are the same thing. Is there a difference? Seriously?
I couldn't hook the printer to the computer to save my life.
I barely know how to operate Pippi's harness.
It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to fold the stroller the first time I had to do it. It was after my 6 week postpartum appointment and it was 304 degrees outside and I had Max in the nice air-conditioned car, and I spent 154 minutes cussing up a storm because I didn't listen to Brandon's lesson on how to operate the stroller and that's why it took me 167856397869 minutes to fold.
Max has like 1786896896897585 pairs of cute little overalls but he rarely wears them because I have absolutely NO idea how to put them on him. I kid not.
It took me 4 days to figure out how to put a onesie on Max.
7 days to put a diaper on the kid.
The vacuum? Well, I can't change the vacuum bag when full. But Brandon can and that's all that is important to me.
I can't set a watch or any of the clocks in the house. That's why I am up a creek come daylight savings time. Thank goodness I have my slave, I mean, my husband.
I will feel very bad for Brandon if Max takes after his mother with regard to mechanical ability.
I cannot work an electric can opener. This is why the only can opener you will ever find in my house is a hand-held one.
I cannot operate a DVD player or VCR player.
I often get confused with the remote control.
I have absolutely no idea how to work the Diaper Genie. Brandon did give me a lesson, but much like his other lessons (like how to operate the DVD player), I didn't pay attention because I knew that he could always do it for me.
In my world, a screw driver and a wrench are the same thing. Is there a difference? Seriously?
I couldn't hook the printer to the computer to save my life.
I barely know how to operate Pippi's harness.
It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to fold the stroller the first time I had to do it. It was after my 6 week postpartum appointment and it was 304 degrees outside and I had Max in the nice air-conditioned car, and I spent 154 minutes cussing up a storm because I didn't listen to Brandon's lesson on how to operate the stroller and that's why it took me 167856397869 minutes to fold.
Max has like 1786896896897585 pairs of cute little overalls but he rarely wears them because I have absolutely NO idea how to put them on him. I kid not.
It took me 4 days to figure out how to put a onesie on Max.
7 days to put a diaper on the kid.
The vacuum? Well, I can't change the vacuum bag when full. But Brandon can and that's all that is important to me.
I can't set a watch or any of the clocks in the house. That's why I am up a creek come daylight savings time. Thank goodness I have my slave, I mean, my husband.
I will feel very bad for Brandon if Max takes after his mother with regard to mechanical ability.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Losing and finding yourself again
I've always heard that when you have a baby, you lose a part of yourself--that mothers (and I guess fathers, too) sometimes forget who they are because they are so focused on their child. I must admit that I was afraid of losing some of my identity once I had Max--I was afraid that I would cease being the unique individual that is me and simply become "Mom."
I've lost bits of myself over the years. There's pieces of me scattered from California to Lebanon to Kirksville to Austin to Mexico to St. Louis. I've lost important parts of myself that I didn't even realize I had lost before I moved on to the next place.
And while I am now known as "Mom" (or, as Max affectionately calls me in his little flat head, "old bag"), I think I have rediscovered the pieces of myself that I had lost a long, long time ago.
I now know what I lost, and Max has helped me find them.
A long, long time ago, I was a writer. My parents know this, my husband knows this, old friends know this. For some reason I ceased being a writer during my sophomore year in college. I don't know why.
Actually, I do.
I think it's because starting then, writing became a chore for me. I loved my creative writing classes my freshman year and wrote some pretty good stuff, but after that class, all of my other writings were simply academic and boring. I had to write 20 pages interpreting Chopin's "Awakening" from a Buddhist perspective (which, by the way, earned me an A). I had to write a 30 pages English major thesis examining cannibalism in the "Thyestes." I got sick of writing and just quit.
But now that I have Max, I think I have rediscovered just how much I miss it and just how important it was to my being. I have more reasons to write now.
I want to write now.
And I think I know myself better now than I ever have before. For some reason, Max has made me think about who I am and reexamine what I want to be because I know that who I am will influence who he will eventually become.
I'm all of 28 years old and I think I have reached a moment of clarity. I know that there is so much more I have yet to discover about myself and my world, but I do know that Max has made me feel like I have found what I think I lost sight of a long, long time ago.
I guess I never realized that I missed myself until Max came along.
I've lost bits of myself over the years. There's pieces of me scattered from California to Lebanon to Kirksville to Austin to Mexico to St. Louis. I've lost important parts of myself that I didn't even realize I had lost before I moved on to the next place.
And while I am now known as "Mom" (or, as Max affectionately calls me in his little flat head, "old bag"), I think I have rediscovered the pieces of myself that I had lost a long, long time ago.
I now know what I lost, and Max has helped me find them.
A long, long time ago, I was a writer. My parents know this, my husband knows this, old friends know this. For some reason I ceased being a writer during my sophomore year in college. I don't know why.
Actually, I do.
I think it's because starting then, writing became a chore for me. I loved my creative writing classes my freshman year and wrote some pretty good stuff, but after that class, all of my other writings were simply academic and boring. I had to write 20 pages interpreting Chopin's "Awakening" from a Buddhist perspective (which, by the way, earned me an A). I had to write a 30 pages English major thesis examining cannibalism in the "Thyestes." I got sick of writing and just quit.
But now that I have Max, I think I have rediscovered just how much I miss it and just how important it was to my being. I have more reasons to write now.
I want to write now.
And I think I know myself better now than I ever have before. For some reason, Max has made me think about who I am and reexamine what I want to be because I know that who I am will influence who he will eventually become.
I'm all of 28 years old and I think I have reached a moment of clarity. I know that there is so much more I have yet to discover about myself and my world, but I do know that Max has made me feel like I have found what I think I lost sight of a long, long time ago.
I guess I never realized that I missed myself until Max came along.
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